faith and marathon metaphor

its weird that i have a lot of faith on someone who i know will do well and people too have faith in me.. but i can't seem to have faith in myself. this journey to the second sem is unbearable! I have no idea what the future holds. It's been this way since the first day of class in med. I feel like I'm running a marathon where the finish line is graduation and passing the med board exam.

I just started to kick off and yes I'm moving slowly, who runs at the start of a marathon? probably someone with stamina. I, unfourtunetly don't have that kind of stamina so I started things slow. I started so slow (Prelims) and I'm afraid that I may get way behind that it'll be too late to catch up so I tried to pick up the speed (Midterms) I'd sway and almost trip but I didn't. Then I'm trying to build up momentum (Finals). I really did try but instead I trip and fell on my face and hit the track (removals) yup that's what it feels like. runner down. I don't if I should stop the race or get up and continue running? I hear people cheering, to get up, keep moving but it isn't that easy to do.

Thoughts came rushing in my mind, maybe I wasn't suppose to enter the race in the first place. why do i even take part in a race? sigh i need counseling =(

Brunch.. Writing for therapy

I got to start forgiving myself. Failing 3 major subjects in med. It’s the MOST lowest of low moments in my life so far. I’ve taught of giving up, giving up in feu, I’ve taught about giving up med all together. Taking the removals feels like literally like what T’cher Lata would have put it, going to the butcher house and you’re a chicken. Being in court and pronounced guilty. I feel like I’m not good enough for med. I forgot all the reasons why I enter med in the first place. It’s like starring at my dreams slowly shattering right in front of me and I don’t know how long I can hold up. I just feel like going home and giving the situation, I can't =( all I can do now is review for the removals and do my best and if that is still not enough then well its not enough...