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im so going to regret this after i blog..

why am i always missundersttod?? obiviously because no one really know me..no one except me, myself and I. Everyday i come to go school and I have this lil feeling lyk im invisble its lyk i dont dont even belong and tym just pass me by everyday went home eat bath homework etc and every nite i cry myself to sleep i noe i sleep at least 10hrs everyday and you can say that im a lazy lump of arse but its not my fault that i prefer my fantasy rather than reality. Sumtyms i which i never wake up but unfourtunetly i wake up everyday and faced my nightmares or rather daymare everyday home is not home i rather stayed outside of home. my parents dont even know im taking guitar lesson they dont know what i lyk loved what i want to be when i grow up its lyk they've planned everthing for me already and i dont get to choose... my siblings haf no care abt the world but themselves

its lyk im not good enuough, everything i do its never going to be good enough and its not my fault that im not perfect plus my grades, i've worked so hard every single day... last thursday i remember that fel told me how many o's ive got and i answered 6 and she went wow and i cannot except the fact that how i wish my parents would said that and all they said what was try harder next tym get higher grades than that, get more o's in the finals... everyday i told myself to stand firm, be brave, be strong and that everthing is going to be alright but no the problem is still there and it'll never go away... no matter how hard i try to make it right its never going to be alright :'( all i can do know i just to pretend that everything's alright

I admit sometyms i feel lyk suiciding coz there's nothing here to live for but thats not the solution to solve all this I know there are loads of ppl out there who care abt me and all but i just lyk to keep everything to myself its lyk i just cant trust anyone even though i know you guys can be thrusted... i think its just part of my nature of being alone and just not talk abt it...

Im just lost dont bother me sometym, i just get way emotional so yeah :) i'm GOING to be alright (whatever happens)