roller coaster

yesterday, i mean two days ago (its already 12 a.m.) Saturday 27 of jan 2005 was the huge roller coaster i have ever ride in my entire life!!!! so many things happen. its just crazy! In the morning Sangs arrived and "stuff" happen and I was so dissapointed, sad, frustrated and everything that I cried!!! i try to hide it, keep it all in but the tears just came out! I kept it in for as long as i could and went out of the tempest with sangs to get some fresh air. Sangs and I bumped in with tcher lata and teo and I was like "teo!! your here!! i thought you were in KK?" *forcing myslef to smile* and tcher lata went "Sarah, whats wrong?" In my mind I was like dammit.. i wonder how she could always tell no matter how casual i sound! "nothing" i replied. i bet she could tell im lying. anyways walked all the way to sangs house and she cheered me up and we went back to the tempest and i saw Mae, she was in my comp and she went "I'm so sorry" and Teo was there too (i should have off the computer before i left!) . I continued doing the school mag just to take my mind off of things and mae played songs that kindda cheered me up a bit. "we're going down, down the merry go round and sugar we're going down swinging!" LOL and Teo made comment every now and then just to make me smile, comments like "Sarah, i love you. We all do." and i was like "okay.."

Then Teo said that the results (GCSE 'o' level) is coming out at 12p.m. everyone was nervouse and freaked out. i was so sad that i didnt even bothered. ice went online that day and i told him everything, i just need to tell someone abt it and i just want to let it all out. 12p.m. sangs and mae rush in the office. i bet teo want to rushed out too but he stayed to accompany me in the tempest. Sangs and Mae came back. it was a false alarm.

12:30p.m. Sangs, Teo and I went to coffee bean (again cheering me up) shared a chocolate fudge cake with teo. Mae stayed behind with Uri but we take-out for her and uri. went to the library with kevin mok. we were waiting for the results cause someone said its coming out at 3p.m. plus kevin mok's friend already has his results.. so we were waiting. to tell you the truth at that time i felt absolutely blank, totally empty. i dont think there's any adrenaline left of me.

teo came running, burst the library door open, huged me and Sangs and went "i got 8 a' s, i got 8 a's" and i went "congradulations!!!" *i really meant it!!* and said sarcasticly "gee did i pass?" he was so happy that he didnt reply. Sangs and I walk down to the bulletin board and i was cheering her up cause she was so nervous that she was shaking... for me i was prepared for the worst.

went to the board, saw my name and I was in awe; just speechless. My hope was really simple and that is just to pass. That's it. Just to pass every subject and i dont care whether if it's a C, D or E just not a U. I got more than i expected (i really thank god for it) and I'm proud with my results. I dont care what other ppl got cause i knew we all tried our best and we all deserve what we got so yeah im really happy for everyone.

went to ydm with sangs and suprisingly with all sadness and happiness i've been through, i didnt feel the adrenaline rush that i used to have every time i come to ydm. Okay first I was SAD then I was HAPPY and then here comes along Sangs (my-so-called best friend); we were walking down the parish hall of SAC and out of no where Sangs yelled out "Can I have an O!!!!! Can I have a V!!!!!" OMG i felt so embarrass. i think i yelled out "i dont know you" and walk straight to the hall. she came in still chanting "can i have an O!! can i have a V!!" what's worse she went up to this dude (terrance i think.) and went "Terrance! Can I have an O?" and he said "O..?" "Can I have a V?" "V.." right in front of me. well actually i was sitting in between them. BUT still!!! I still dont know why i'm still friends with her. Anyways we played this game and it was fun plus the brain teaser was preety cool too. It made think that i was dumb cause i was like "ohhh..right, wow.. okay, i knew that." but it was alright. i really enjoyed ydm. it made me forget abt stuff.

then i attended the core meeting before that ice, abigail, adrian and I went to pasar to eat cause i was really hungry.. Ice paid for my food. I was about to pay for it but Mas said it's already been paid. uri, jet, ice and I went to pasar after the meeting and URI went "Sarah are you okay!?" then everything came back to me.
"I'm okay, i'm always okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Okay, How did you know?"
"I just know"
"Ice told you!"
Ice went "NO!!! I didnt.. i only find out that he knew just now." there's only one person left; MAE.
Uri went "I know how you feel......" and gave me a huge lecture!!
well i need it anyways. he planned a beach party especially for me just to take my mind off of things and just relax and hang out with a few friends. went back home feeling exausted!! and straight to bed.

yesterday (sunday)

went to the mall. was suppose to watch memoirs of geisha but we didnt get to watch because of some reasons anyways end up hanging out with Sangs and Nazmi. went to mc donalds to eat and i bought an earing, a ring and a bracelet just to cheer myself up and as a congradulation gift to myself. (yes! i am that sad) Oh well at least it makes me happy!! I just found out that Nazmi and I are similarly insane! she's cool to hang out with!! end up having dinner at fratinies with my family.

its currently 2 am in the morning and i have a leadership training tommorow and i sriously dont want to go but i have to and plus we have to entertain two youths from NZ who are on a transit.

I am not a malay or an american! I am 100% pure filipino. I am not vain!! I do not have a cute laugh!! I do not walk,talk or look like tyra banks!!

incident #1
ice: "how you walk ahh.. "
me: "easy.. just walk!"
"you tyra banks"
"tyra who?"
"tyra banks wah! america next top model"
"right.."

incident #2
ice "Sarah smile"
reflexs, I smiled (for 2 seconds!)
nick "wah! so vain!"
me "no i'm not!"
nick: "you have a great smile in 5 years time i'll see you in bill boards"
"in your dreams"

incident # 3
Daniel: "hi nice to meet you!"
"hi!"
"are you a malay?"
"nope"

incident # 4
Uri "Sarah you should join america next top model!"
my reply is "NO!!! I'm not an american"
" oh yeah! then what about philippines next top model"
"NO!!!! I just dont want to.... i mean why??? what the point?"
"you never know... you might even win"
"yeah!!! right.."

incident # 5
i was having a laugh with sangs while walking chaddy and christine to pasar; they are so cute!
christine: "Ate Sarah your laugh is so cute!"
"what? really? ice said i laugh like a goat!"

till next blog
infinite X's and O's
Sarah_328