emotions

what i feel right now is like this....

"i feel like i've just been pushed down to hell and been there for a very long time... then i've been lifted up CLOSE to heaven (but not there yet) and then something shot me down back to earth."

okay so the hell thing is the crap stuff ive been through and basically heaven is the feeling of pure happiness. earth is just normal.

i still havent gotten over it. Now I'm on "earth". I know i must be happy that im not in "hell" but its also frustrating knowing that so your so close to "heaven" and everything just *poof* in a blink of an eye. I know I must get up and start over but was everything i did before a waste? Is starting over what i really need? or i'll just prove myself over and over again that im not worthy.

this sucks
Oh Well.