practise what you preech

tcher lata was right. i have to practise what i preech! i really need to start working pulling up my socks i mean im capable but somehow i dont want to... i dont know. i just cant or somewhere deep inside me dont really want to for i also do not know reasons. its lyk i want to but i cant. i dont know. its hard to explain.

at last just one more day. you know the freakin thing is not to hope to high coz when you fall and crash it's so gonna hurt! i dont its lyk have faith yeah haf hope but somehow i dont want to hope anymore. its lyk whats the point. you'll come down and crash anyway. its like suicide! i mean i dont really know.

right now with the whole thing the orals and exams i was lyk "lets just get this over with!" but a part of me was lyk no! dont waste the time. dont let time pass right by you. treasure it and live the moment! do what you can on that time. which ofcorse i totally agree but this "lets just get this over with" always come up in y mind!

chaging! its not easy as it looks. you may change for a couple of days but change for a lifetime is so HARD! i tried and always failed! a classic exaple: its lyk okay. i'll change i mean i can do this. i can be talkative, loud and just speak out whatever is on my mind. First couple of day. yeah its alright but in about less than a week i find myself quiet again without even me reliazing it. same thing with studying. it takes a LOT of will power!

tommorow photo shoot. i can tell you that im not a big fan of taking photos cause first of all im so totally not vain! and 100% not photogenic. i do not know how is it going to turn out but yeah hopefully its going to be okay. i watch inxs and they were taking pictures advertising levis but i didnt get anything. all the photographer had said was "show the inner you" , " bring your personalities out" but I, like jordis had said, 'i have no idea what's his talking about!'

cant wait HOLIDAY! but im spending it 100% on revision work... I WILL!

songs in my head 'wish you were here' by marty casey